


sleet and smoke

by softpink



Category: N.Flying (Band)
Genre: M/M, boy next door/neighbours au, chahun's emo and he smokes so, friends to boyfriends kinda, jaehyun!!! is bi!!!!, jaekyung is mentioned, my last christmas-y jaehun stuff for the year, smoking trigger, soft angst, the middle is just retelling how they get together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 07:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softpink/pseuds/softpink
Summary: chahun feels like he spent his whole childhood at jaehyun’s house, and in the boy’s bedroom, dying each other's hair, snapping guitar string after string while jaehyun taught himself to play drums.orthe boy next door/neighbour au no one asked for: a short story of how jaehyun and chahun got together with some soft new years themed angst





	sleet and smoke

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be inspired by cold december night by michael buble and it went NOTHING like i planned... but here it is. my attempt at soft angst and friends to boyfriends.

chahun never likes to believe that it only gets colder after christmas, but every year he is reminded of the gruelling cold late december brings. it makes sense, given december is only the first month of winter. but thinking about warm weather mindlessly is the only solace chahun has left by the end of the month. it's four days after christmas and it's still dreary and cold and dark at 4pm. the idea of a white christmas is appealing; the picturesque snow across town and a soft white blanketing every street. it's straight out of a fairytale, and chahun’s festive spirit sparked up as soon as it started snowing on the 23rd.

it snowed all day, then the next, then by the time christmas day came around the snow started to melt. and it got warmer and the soft blanket turned into mud-coloured slush. it wasn't even boxing day by the time all of chahun’s festive spirit had dwindled.

he’d spent christmas at jaehyun’s house. which isn't a big deal anymore. they've been next door neighbours since chahun was 5 years old, very excited to learn his new neighbour was only three days younger than him. jaehyun was the cutest boy chahun had ever seen, and by the time they were 7, the two boys were, to say the least, utterly infatuated with each other. chahun feels like he spent his whole childhood at jaehyun’s house, and in the boy’s bedroom, dying each other’s hair, snapping guitar string after string while jaehyun taught himself to play drums.

once jaehyun had told chahun he thought he might like girls and boys, since that afternoon, lying down on the grass in jaehyun’s back yard, chahun had felt more at peace with his feelings for his best friend. of course, he only wanted to think that. knowing that jaehyun liking boys and not liking him would hurt more than jaehyun just liking girls. it didn't take long before jaehyun had his first boyfriend, and chahun felt replaced.

“it’s not like you were my boyfriend before and i broke up with you for him!” jaehyun yelled one night as he and chahun worked on high school applications.

“but you _only_ spend time with him now, how can you not expect me to feel like you're forgetting about me!” chahun made his own voice crack, thinking about losing jaehyun completely.

“what do you think i’m doing here, with you, helping you with your applications, here for you, as a friend, as your best friend?”

chahun didn't say anything for a couple minutes. maybe it was an hour. maybe he just left. it was too long ago, he doesn't remember.

✧˖*°࿐ 

by the spring, jaehyun and his boyfriend were over, and now chahun had to comfort jaehyun through his first real breakup. it didn't go too well.

chahun blocked most of it out. the only part he remembers is the string of nights after nights holding jaehyun in his arms as the boy ranted and cried about how annoying boys are and how he never wanted to date anyone ever again. chahun handed him more tissues and looked out the window, not letting himself look at jaehyun’s tear stained face, knowing that if he watched his darling cry, he’d start too.

that continued on for a week, by the end there was less hand holding, and less tissues. jaehyun was saddened, and numb, and felt more alone than he ever had in his whole life, despite chahun being there with him every night, all night. chahun even had his own drawer in jaehyun’s dresser from all the impromptu sleepovers they’d had that week. it made it feel like they were a couple, at least for chahun, so at the end of the week, chahun was the one in need of tissues and cuddles.

✧˖*°࿐ 

one night, the power was cut for their block so jaehyun and chahun lit candles around chahun’s room and read comics to each other in the dim lighting. they fought over which ones to read and jaehyun did the character voices while chahun read the narration. it got dark fast, and soon enough they couldn't read anymore. their flashlights had died and jaehyun insisted on not using his phone until it was “an emergency”. so the two sat in chahun’s bed, watching the cars go by on the black street below.

“jaehyun,” chahun had started, “are you still sad about him?”

jaehyun shrugged, “i guess. i’ll probably be sad for a while. i feel like i’ll never find anyone like that again.”

“what do you mean?”

“he was kind, and funny, and shy, and good to snuggle. and he’d stay up late with me and the only other person like that who i know is you,” jaehyun tipped his head onto chahun’s shoulder, he pushed chahun’s bleached hair out of way, he needed a haircut, “too bad i can't just date you.” jaehyun laughed lightly.

there was a silence for a while. chahun tried not to move while jaehyun settled his head on his shoulder. it got warm in his room without the ac but chahun wasn’t bothered by how hot and sweaty it was in his bed next to jaehyun. shadows on the walls were cast by the flickering lights of candles burning down, and the whole room smelled like smoke and wax.

chahun kept his eyes stuck on the window, “you know i like you, right?”

“hun you don't need to say that to make me feel better because i just described you as the perfect guy,” jaehyun sighed, “you're too good to joke like that….”

chahun had tipped his head to his shoulder, pulling jaehyun up until they far too close to each other. chahun kissed jaehyun as softly as he could. one of the only things chahun can remember about that kiss was jaehyun staying completely still, he whimpered lightly as chahun broke away.

“no, like, i really, really like you jaehyun,” chahun’s voice was soft as he watched jaehyun for any sense of emotion, “and i know it's weird because we’ve been friends since we were like 5 and you probably don't like me like now that you haven't said anything and i wanna say i’m sorry now and i…” chahun rambled quickly and faded away his sentence when he realized jaehyun wasn't listening anymore.

“i like you too, hun,” jaehyun rested his forehead against chahun’s and he could feel chahun’s breath on his, “i really, really like you.”

the night ended in more than friendly, and somewhat awkward kissing. even when the power came back, neither of them seemed to care enough to turn on the lights.

✧˖*°࿐ 

this went on for a month and a half. chahun and jaehyun remained friends. they did the same thing they always had, played guitarhero in jaehyun’s basement until 3am and yanked each other out of bed the next day when they remembered they had school.

there was something off though. maybe the two acted like a little more than friends. and maybe they’d made out in the school washrooms a couple times, who knows. both remained “single” and didn't mention anything about dating for a long time, 47 days to be exact. which doesn't seem super long, but when you have romantic tension with your best friend, it feels like an eternity.

“chahun?” jaehyun asked as they sat on the school soccer field, picking dandelions and ripping up the grass, “when can we start calling each other boyfriends”

“we could start right now if you want.”

“does that mean we’re dating now?”

chahun blew dandelion seeds into the wind, “it can mean whatever we want it to mean.”

“do you think we should date?” jaehyun started shoving pebbles into the dirt.

“i think it could be nice.”

“what do couples do that different from us?” jaehyun said, “i mean, we hang out every night, we kiss sometimes, we like each other.”

“we don't hold hands,” chahun mused, “do you want to?”

jaehyun pulled chahun’s hand out of the grass and laced his fingers with his own. he ran his thumb over chahun’s hand, his skin rough with dirt from the field.

“does that feel right to you?” chahun asked.

“yeah. it feels good.”

“couples usually cuddle more than we do,” chahun pointed out, “but we don't have to do every couple cliche if we wanna start dating.”

“i like cuddling.”

“i like it too.”

this conversation went on for almost an hour. their backpacks leaned up against the fence while the two boys ended up lying down on the field. jaehyun rested his head on chahun’s chest and chahun wrapped his arm around jaehyun as they both watched the clouds go by.

“if we started dating i’d have an excuse to take you weird places like glow in the dark bowling and you could buy me nachos.” chahun laughed to himself, thinking about jaehyun yelling and screaming if he got a strike.

“that sounds pretty sweet.” jaehyun felt chahun’s chest rise and fall as he laughed.

“so.. we’re boyfriends now. and we’re dating.”

“yep.”

“are you gonna tell jaekyung?” chahun asked.

jaehyun thought about it for a minute, “she’s pretty observant. she probably already thinks we are.”

“what about our parents?”

“have you even come out to them?” jaehyun rubbed his hand over chahun’s chest, listening to his heartbeat speed up as chahun heard the question.

“no.”

“then we shouldn't tell them yet.”

“i don't wanna hide it from them.” chahun pouted and held jaehyun closer to him.

“i think they’ll be fine with it. but we don't have to worry about that right now,” jaehyun’s touches slowed down, soothing chahun back out of his anxiety, “right now we can enjoy each other's company and watch the clouds.”

“god, i wanna kiss you right now.”

jaehyun smiled, “then do it.”

chahun pulled jaehyun up on top of him, and jaehyun kissed him until he ran out of air and chahun’s lip ring started to interfere with their smooching.

when the kiss ended, jaehyun scooted down on chahun, resting his head on his chest again, and chahun wrapped his arms around jaehyun. it was quiet aside from the rustling of tree leaves and calls of birds in the afternoon sun. jaehyun felt chahun’s lungs inflate and deflate, and let his breathing slow down.

“you know,” chahun started, “couples also usually like.. fuck.”

“you ruined our moment.” jaehyun pouted.

chahun chuckled, “i’m so sorry, jae.”

“i’m not gonna think about any of that until i’m either really horny or really bored so shut it!”

“we can have this conversation another time.” chahun looked down to see jaehyun blushing less than discreetly, and chahun laughed at him again.

✧˖*°࿐ 

that was over a year ago. and now chahun was back with his thoughts, standing out in the cold of his own back porch as the rest of his and jaehyun’s family are inside chatting about new years plans. it's still not cold enough for snow, and the backyard is shiny with slush and rain water as it starts to sleet.

chahun curses and looks up at the sky, watching the thick, icy rain fall all over the ground. it's possibly the most miserable weather chahun’s seen all year. he shivers and pulls out his lighter. it's bright yellow and it's slippery in his hands as he lights the cigarette between his fingers. it's a relief as he inhales the ashy fumes. the warmth surrounding him is uncomfortable clashing with the sleet and snow and horrible temperature. he shoves his other hand into his jacket pocket and continues to wear the cigarette down.

he thinks about the year, and how it's almost over. and how the last 363 days haven't gone like he wanted them to. his boots start to soak as he ponders all the things he hasn't done this year, and all the things he probably won't achieve next year. but he doesn't really care, and takes another hit of his “cancer on a stick” as jaehyun calls it.

there's a creek at the back of the porch, and it snaps chahun out of his thoughts. the door opens and jaehyun stands in the doorway holding an umbrella. he opens it and shuffles out into the sleet in a hoodie and his sneakers. the deck is slippery and chahun grabs a hold of jaehyun as soon as he can. he makes sure jaehyun doesn't slip and let's jaehyun hold the umbrella out over his head.

“you should come back inside,” jaehyun says, “the fire’s still going.”

“i wanted to have a smoke.” chahun hold the cigarette out and flicks the ash off it.

“you said you were gonna stop smoking in the new year.”

chahun crosses his arms, “watch me not smoke for three weeks then you’ll beat my ass when i can't help it again.”

“make it a new years resolution and just quit.”

“how many of my new years resolutions have actually succeeded?”

“you have to start somewhere.” jaehyun winces as chahun takes takes another hit.

“i said i was gonna come out to my parents this year and look where we are now! we’ve been doing this thing for a year and a half and i can't just tell them i love you. it's so frustrating, jae. i haven't done anything i wanted this year and i don't want the same the to happen again.” chahun snaps loudly. he huffs and watches the smoke from his cigarette fade into the air.

“so, how about we tell them this year?”

“we said that last year.”

“but this year we can actually do it. and we’ll tell them and you’ll quit smoking and i’ll pull my grades up and we can make next year better than this year.” jaehyun rests his head on chahun’s shoulder like he always does.

“sounds like wishful thinking.” chahun says as he drops his butt onto the porch and grinds it into the wood with the toe of his boot.

jaehyun sighs, “if you always say that you’ll never get anything done.”

“you're the one who barely passed half your finals.” chahun laughs and wraps an arm around jaehyun’s.

jaehyun elbows him in the ribs, “i’m gonna work harder next year, okay!”

“how about if you pull your grades up i’ll stop smoking.” chahun raises his eyebrows.

“how about if you stop smoking i’ll pull my grades up.” jaehyun teases.

chahun shakes his head, “we could race each other.”

jaehyun thinks about it for a minute, “if you’re cigarette free for 70 days before i can get up to a 70% average then i’ll stop complaining about cat hair on your clothes _and_ i’ll never call you emo again.”

“and if you get up to a 70 before i’m cigarette free for 70 days then i’ll stop making fun of your mismatched socks and i’ll let you use my metropass for the bus whenever you want.”

jaehyun put his hand out for chahun to shake it, “i think you have yourself a deal, mister.”

chahun shakes jaehyun’s hands officially and they go back to looking at the sleet fall as jaehyun still holds the umbrella above their heads.

the sound of the sleet is heavy and pounding against the umbrella above them. it's soaking into the softwood of the porch and jaehyun’s hoodie is getting damp in places where the umbrella can’t reach. his hands are shaking and his sneakers are sopping and squishy on his wet, socked feet.

“kiss me now so we can go back inside because i’m cold and wet.” jaehyun says while shaking, his teeth are close to chattering.

chahun giggles a bit at jaehyun’s shivering state and pulls him into his arms as jaehyun’s struggles to keep the umbrella upright. chahun's hands are wrapped around jaehyun’s waist and one of jaehyun’s arms is draped over chahun’s shoulder as they close the distance between them. jaehyun’s lips are chapped and cold and wet but his face his warm and his tongue is soft in chahun’s mouth. he’s still shivering and shaking in chahun’s hold but chahun does his best to keep jaehyun’s still as he continues to smooch him in the freezing rain.

when they break apart, jaehyun spits chahun’s saliva out of his mouth and onto the grass in front of them, “your mouth tastes like smoke.”

“your lips are cold.”

“because i’m fucking cold!!!” jaehyun bounces on his heels, trying to drag chahun back in the house.

“let's get you inside then,” chahun finally lets jaehyun pull him back to the door, “my mum’s gonna make both of us shower before we do anything else.”

jaehyun waits for chahun to opens the porch door, given he's still holding the umbrella, “doesn't sound too bad to me..”

“shower separately, dumbass”

“she doesn't have to know.”

chahun shushes jaehyun as they both get back into the warm house, “oh my god shut up.”

**Author's Note:**

> important note! i am not trying to romanticize smoking!!! its dangerous and unhealthy y'all i wouldn't recommend it but it was used as an aesthetic choice for chahun's emo character so uh yeah
> 
> also, incase y'all dont know, boxing day is a commonwealth holiday on dec 26th [because this is still takes place in my canadian high school au i think maybe]


End file.
